Chocolate Meringue Cake

It is no fair to anyone, if you don't use your talents to make other's happy.

My talent (among many) lie in cooking and the person I would like to make happy is my friend Staci who just happens to have Celiac. Her birthday was this week and I decided to give her a cake for her birthday. Due to the no wheat restriction this could be a difficulty, but not so! I have the perfect Wheat-free cake recipe: Chocolate Meringue Cake.

You will need:

A mixer with a whisk.
A double boiler or: a sauce pan and a metal bowl that fits in it loosely.

A spatula
A whisk
An oven
A stove
A straight sided cake pan (I'm using a spring form pan for ease of serving.)
Some parchment paper

Ingredients:
½ C Unsalted Butter (1 stick)
12 oz of bittersweet Chocolate pieces
3 Tbsp of Dutch Process Cocoa
10 eggs, separated
½ C sugar

You can top with:
Whipped cream and honey or powdered sugar.

Directions:

1.Pre-heat the oven to 350 degrees.
2.In your double boiler (or equivalent) melt the butter and the chocolate.

3.Whisk in the cocoa into the melted chocolate and keep warm
4.In the mixer beat the egg whites until soft peaks form, adding the sugar a little at a time.


5.Add the egg yokes to the melted chocolate, mix well.
6.Carefully, fold the chocolate mixture into the eggs. Do not over-mix.

7.Cut out parchment paper to line the cake pan. You want the sides to be taller than the edge of the pan.
8.Pour the batter into the lined pan and bake for 40 -50 minutes until done.

Asparagus Blue Cheese Pasta

It is Spring!!

Farmer's Market is in full swing and it is time to learn what to do with all the wonderful items showing up at the market right now.

Asparagus.

Asparagus, like opportunity, is not a lengthy visitor. Only available for a few weeks in early spring these tender shoots are a real delicacy.

They are fantastic roasted or grilled, very easy to steam or pan fry. You can use them anywhere fresh green veggies are welcome...stir-fry, pasta, salad, etc.

My favorite thing to do with them is...Blue Cheese and Asparagus Farfalle

You will need:

A Pasta Pot
A colander
A Cutting Board
A Knife
A small oven safe pan
Small pan
Spoons

Ingredients needed (for 4-6 servings):

1 pound Farfalle (Bow Tie) Pasta
1 pound Shallots
1 pound Asparagus
½ pound of Blue Cheese
5+ cloves of Garlic
1 Cup of Dry Vermouth
1 cup of Panko (or other bread crumbs)
Some Olive Oil
Some Butter

Directions:

1.Pre-heat the oven to 400 degrees
2.Slice the shallots and place them in the oven dish. Peel the garlic and add to the dish. Drizzle with olive oil and top with vermouth.
3.Get the water boiling in your pasta pot.
4.Prepare your asparagus. (Many books and people tell you to cut the ends off the asparagus and then peel half of the length of the stalk. I find that simply snapping the ends off works well. The tend to snap off just after the woody end. Peeling is a total waste of valuable nutrients and flavor.) You want the asparagus spears to be broken into bite sized pieces of no longer than 2 inches in length. 1 inch is ideal.
5.When the oven is hot, put the shallots and garlic in and cook for 15 minutes or so.
6.When the water is boiling add the pasta to the pot.
7.Crumble the blue cheese.
8.Cook pasta until nearly done (according to personal preferences and package directions) when there is only about 2 minutes until it is done, add the asparagus to the pot.

9.In a small pan melt the butter. Add the panko and cook, stirring until browned.
10.Drain the pasta and asparagus in the colander.
11.Return the pasta and asparagus to the pot. Add the blue cheese and stir.
12.Remove the shallots and garlic from the oven. Add them to the pasta, stir.
13.Top with panko...stir.
14.Eat.

Fantastic. Easy. Delicious. This dish is done. It needs nothing.



Nutrition (serving 6)

Calories per serving: 569
Fat: 15g
Protein: 21g
Cholesterol: 21mg
Sodium: 567mg
Potassium: 615mg
Fiber: 3g
Calcium: 243mg
Iron: 5mg
Zinc: 2mg
Vitamin C: 11mg
Vitamin A: 9885IU
B6: 4mg
B12: 3mcg
B1: 1mg
B2: 6mg
Folacin: 121mcg
Niacin: 8mg

Renewed Vigor

Sometimes when life starts to get rolling and you get caught up in all the things coming your way...you don't always notice what direction you are going.

In my case, I must say, I was lucky...this time. I was not caught up in a steam roller to shit canyon. I was actually being hurled at breakneck speed to good things. Unfortunately some of my experiences happened a bit prematurely.

It is the whole... when one door closes a window opens concept, except, I guess, my opportunity was more like the picture of a window than an actual window. In any event. I am going to try to spring board from the possible emotional disaster (possible because inside of it right now it feels a bit like being inside a blender, but I think, maybe, I will not completely dissolve over this) and come out the other side even more motivated than before.

Weight loss is a rather insidious thing, you see. As soon as you lose a few pounds a girl (and no few men) discover the sexiest accessory to the opposite sex is ...confidence. This can be the beginning of the end.

In December I put on this confidence and... landed a lover.

I don't want to put him down...he is a nice guy...but he was nothing more, nor less, than a reminder of why I was losing weight in the first place. He wasn't the kind of guy you brag about to your friends. He wasn't the kind of guy you can rely upon to hold your hair when you are sick. But he was the kind of guy you could get fairly lame compliments from. And he was willing...no more than that...eager to sleep with me. Not some slimmer me that he knew before I gained all the weight...this me.

I need that. I more than need that.

However, the result was less that satisfying. I only wanted to be with him because he was not disgusting and because he was into me. I didn't really like him. Don't get me wrong....he is a great person, just not one I have all that much interest in.

But when you combined him with the weight loss...I was flying high on a sea of confidence that was more seductive than a pair of stilettos and thigh highs. This haze of confidence paired with inhibition lowering circumstances, can impair your judgment and make you come on to men you have no chance in hell of attaining (at least not at your current weight).

In rare circumstances, you flirt with one of those extraordinary men who is both amazingly attractive and nice. In this circumstance...sober up...wake up...do what ever you have to do...

Don't go out with him.

Sure, you will be flying high on the belief that you have somehow you have done it. You lost enough weight to finally attract a guy that is funny, intelligent, and attractive, who doesn't do drugs and has a job, and doesn't have a swarm of illegitimate children...but you would be wrong. Those guys won't fall for you. Not as you are...right now...at this weight. They fall for your smile...your personality...your confidence...just not the package they are in.

I will try very hard to not hold it against him...my knight in shining armor, because he tried very hard to get past the pudge.

If you are anything like me it will feel more than a little like being bi-polar (or so I suspect). When he is around you are soaring high above the clouds...basking in the glow of his company. When he goes away (for class, work, the night, whatever) your logical brain begins to remind you that his is nearly Adonis and you are practically a walrus. Your low self-esteem re-asserts its dominance and you fall into despair.

You will bring this up with your friends, especially your best girl friends. And they will tell you that...'of course, he is into you'...'you are beautiful'...'you are awesome'...etc. They are biased. You could weigh 1000lbs and look like a train wreck and they would probably say the same things.

Eventually...The truth will come forward and take the wind from your sails. He is nice. He does like you. He won't be sleeping with you. You are not his type. You are too fat. He wants to be friends.

I would like to think I took it like a soldier. I squared my shoulders and marched in front of that firing squad. I'm more than a bit of a fool for trying to convince my mind what my body and at least a bit of my heart wanted. But I'm not so much of a fool that I didn't know when the time was up. The game was over. I lost.

Now...This is the moment. Right now. It's all over but the crying...as they say.

The real problem in weight loss is this moment. The high is over. You didn't get there. You lost this round. What you do now determines what the next round looks like.

Do you:
A.) eat a pint (or 4) of Hagan Daas with chocolate syrup
B.) go on a crash diet
C.) keep going at exactly what you were doing before

Answer C is the least satisfying. The hardest to do in the circumstances. And, I suspect, the only remotely correct answer.

Current weight: 179

One Year Later

Renewing my commitment.

I promise to cook. I promise to go to the gym. I promise to be aware of my drinking. I promise to avoid Ramen.

But like all New Year's Resolutions these will have no power if I don't do something else first...

I must schedule them.

My new iPod will be the best friend I can have for this purpose. If I schedule it I will have another layer of accountability. And the iPod has a calendar built into it. I will cook on Mondays and Saturdays. I will go to the gym on Saturdays, Sundays, Wednesdays and Fridays. I will Blog on Thursdays and Sundays and/or Mondays.

Short term goal...

To lose 10 lbs by the end of February

Mid-length goal...

To lose an additional 10 lbs by June

Longer term goal...

To lose an additional 10 lbs by Labor Day

Obstacles...

My new lifestyle...I have recently begun going out to the club much more regularly and the drinking has therefore increased. Unlike last year I am not willing to forgo the alcohol for the weight loss. This means I will have to work doubly hard and be more aware of my alcohol intake.

The continuation of my former lifestyle...In that I am working 2 part time jobs and still broke. I need to remember to eat breakfast even though I am generally frazzled in the mornings, and more difficult...eat lunch after I have been cooking for 4 hours or so. Working with food really kills my appetite.

Original starting weight...207lbs (or so)

Current weight...186lbs

2009 weight goal...156lbs

Ultimate weight goal...125lbs

Today's log:

Food: No breakfast. Lunch was leftover Chinese food...Mai Fun (rice noodle dish) and some stir fried mixed vegetables with a Red Bull. Dinner was half of a ham and provolone sandwich with spinach a dill pickle and some mayo on a French roll. Post Dinner...an Effen Cherry Red Bull at the club and I am making some pasta right now for eating before I go to bed.

Exercise: Went to the gym and used the Elliptical trainer for 45 minutes went 3 miles! Did a little dancing at the club.

Where did I go wrong?

Comming up on my one year anniversary in just over a week. How did I do?


Well...I did great right up until April. I did pretty good for 4 month. What do I want??!? A cookie?!

I didn't completely fuck up though...I did lose some weight. I did make some lasting changes to my life.

I didn't stick to the plan though. I never realized how much losing my job would screw up my plans. I wasn't employed again until August - the end of August! Blame it on the economy.

But what happened then. I got a job...I should have jumped right back on the diet train but I didn't. WTF?

I don't know. I wish I did. I will however use the oldest excuse in the American Lexicon...I didn't have the time.

So...Where do I stand?

Weight: 187lbs (down from a starting weight of roughly 208lbs)
Average meals cooked in a week: 0 (yes, you read that right...I don't cook anything anymore. I suck...I know.
Average number of breakfasts eaten in a week: 3 (I know... seriously...Last year I would have rather faced a firing squad than miss breakfast and now I am a habitual skipper)
Average times I get to the gym in a week: 1 (I am being kind here. I get to the gym like 3 times a month and they generally are all in the same week)
Alcoholic drinks at home in a week: 0 (this much is still in effect. I will have on average 1 drink at home in a month but it is usually to try something someone else is drinking.)
Alcoholic drinks in a week out: 2 (in a normal week, the first weekend a month is Leather and Lace at the Inferno and then it is more like 5 or 7 drinks but that is only at the club)
Ramen consumption: 0 (with the exception of the couple times I was sick and then I only had a few and stopped eating them when I was better)

How can I do better?

I'm wondering how I could do worse.

Joking aside...I really do see now how much blogging made a difference. I was answerable to this media for my actions and inactions. If I want to keep losing weight I need to:
1.) Blog at least once a week. More often if I can make the time to do so.
2.) Freaking eat breakfast everyday.
3.) Cook at home (this one is hard because I cook for a living now...I know it sounds counter-intuitive but...remember the friends episode with the gynecologist..."Do you ever come home from work and not want to look at another dress?")
4.) Get my ass to the gym - I'm going to shoot for the standard 3 times a week
5.) Keep the drinking down to a decent level. (I feel where I'm at in a normal week is pretty good. Special occasions notwithstanding)


Today's food:
Breakfast....Lunch...(I slept late, as it was a Snow Day for work) A can of Campbells Chicken and Rice soup with Corn, crackers, and some sesame oil, and Bangkok Blend Spice.
Dinner: an embarrasing large portion of serve-yourself Chinese from Sentry, a small container of Italian Feta Pasta Salad from Sentry, A can of Red Bull, and half of a very dry, very large cupcake
Post Dinner: I have had most of (and I intend to finish) a 20 oz bottle of Mello Yello.

Exercise:
Just getting the bus to ERic's today was a work-out. The snow was deeper than my knees. I didn't go to the gym. My pedometer ran out of batteries today so... no numbers.